Freaking Family
by Maria2004
Summary: [COMPLETE] What could possibly happen when Arwen’s family decide to come from Valinor and visit Gondor? Aragorn going nutts, of course. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! FIRST FIC EVER! It's funny, you won't regret it!
1. The message

A/N: First of all, this is my first fic so... please forgive me if it is not so good – as I think is the case. I welcome criticism too, as I think the only way to improve is to get criticism. 

Oh, and English is not my first language so the spelling and grammar mistakes could be an annoying problem. Please forgive me for that too!

Now enjoy it, and please, don't be ashamed and LEAVE ME A REVIEW!!!

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing! (Could someone please tell me why on earth we have to write these disclaimers anyway?)

SUMMARY: What could possibly happen when Arwen's family decide to come from Valinor and visit Gondor? Aragorn going nutts, of course.

RATING: PG-13 (only to be safe)

And now let's stop this babbling and go to the fic! Take a sit and enjoy!

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The king was aimlessly walking around his Palace. So many time has gone since the War of the Ring... he should be happy now everything was right: there was no more wars, no more evils, no more fights, no more.... nothing. 

" Let's face it: I'm bored!", thought Aragorn to himself. 

Indeed: the realm was now so peaceful that the only action he'd got was when Eldarion tried and tied his daghters braids. 

"Eldarion's such a boy!", he thought, now laughing.

He was still aimlessly walking around his Palace, when he heard a familiar voice calling him.

"ESTEL! ESTEL! ESTEL!", said a slightly mad Arwen.

"Don't you scream like this, woman! Oh Eru!", the king said, covering his ears. "Why did I get married, Valar?", he thought. "Anyway, what is it, oh mad she-elf!"

"What is it? What is it? Oh you just can't imagine what happened!", she said in an agitated way.

"I'll never know until you tell me, Arwen!", he said, and sadly nodded.

"A messenger has just arrived to see me!", she said smiling.

"Now listen to me, dear: I have dozens of messengers coming here all the time, from all the free realms of Middle Earth! So... why is this one so special?", the man asked, rolling his eyes.

"Well, besides the fact that this one hadn't come to see you, _mighty king_, he's so special because of the message he brought. Take a look at it, Mr. Know-All!", she answered, her arms crossed in a menancingly way.

"So tell me girl: what is so special about this message anyway?", Aragorn asked, not in a very friendly way.

"Why don't you see it youself?", she said, giving him the most beautiful envelope he had ever seen.

The king opened the envelope, not really interested. He started reading it, and while his eyes went down the letter, his skin became first pale, then blue, and finally turned into a color we can call dead icy. When he finished the reading, he looked up to his adorable wife, smiled a fake smile, turned back, and – finally – fainted.

"I _knew_ he'd _love _it!", Arwen said sarcastly to self while trying to wake her husband up.

Half an hour later, Aragorn, already recovered, walked nervously around Minas Tirith's Palace Hall, staring to his adorable wife. "Why are you laughing so hard, my dear?", he said between his closed teeth.

"Oh my! Estel... you... look... so... ridiculous.... with... this... bandage!", she said, breathless.

"Oh, so you're laughing 'cause your husband read the Eru-damned message and got so _happy_ that fainted and broke his nouse! You're so kind!", he ironically said with flaming eyes.

".............................", was Arwen's answer, while she was bursting into laughter once again.

"Eru: why do I deserve this? Hmm? Tell me, Valar! Tell me! Oh please Mandos take me to your Hall!", he said, kneeling in a desperate way. He was so good at drama...

"Oh... poor... Ranger... boy!", said a still laughing and breathless Arwen trying and cosolating her husband. "It cannot be that bad... can it?!"

"It cannot be that bad? It cannot be _that_ bad? What are you saying, Arwen? This is certainly the worst thing that could possibly happen!", he angrily replied.

"You're overeacting! I mean, I got desperate too when I read it but... now I'm ok! We'll have to face it anyway!", she kindly fondled his face.

"Why can't I be so serene as you?" he said kissing her hand. 

"Because you're my Ranger boy!" she said smiling.

"I'm so glad I married you after all!", he said.

"Well, I never thought you doubted it! Have you, Ranger boy?", she said with a now not so friendly voice.

"Oh never my beauty! I've never doubted you are my true and imortal love!", he said and hugged her. "Wow, I hope she never reads the 6th paragraph!", he thought to self.

"I love you too, Estel!", she sighed passionately.

"You are a gift, Arwen. The true gift the Valar gave me!", he said, relieved she  accepted that ridiculous excuse.

"Estel, love! Now: what will we do then? I mean about the message!", she said.

"Now Arwen my dear: did you really have to screw up this romantic moment recalling _that_ message?", he asked angrily.

"Well Estel, as I said before, we'll have to face it! And this can't be so bad! You're always complaining you don't get any action anymore!", she said.

"Oh dear... it is true I'm feeling a little bit rusty, I'm in need of some real action... But when I mean action, I do not mean...", he sighed deeply and rolled eyes, "... that I want all of YOUR FREAKING FAMILY TO COME FROM VALINOR TO VISIT US!", he said and wept. 

"Oh love!", she wiped off his tears. 

"I never knew someone could possibly come back from Valinor!", he sobbed.

"To be honest, dear, neither did I!", she understandly answered.

"Oh well! But I cannot weep all day!", he said resolutely.

"That's my boy!", she cheered.

"Yeah! I think this can be good anyway! Eldarion and the girls will be able to know their mother's family!", he was now smiling. "And of course this will be a great excuse for inviting the guys and giving a GREAT party!", he didn't dare saying that out loud.

"I'm so glad you're facing it at last! I'll tell the children!", she said and left.

"And I am going to call the guys!", he said evilly as soon as she stepped out the hall.

Then, two days later, at Mirkwood, at Edoras, at Ithilien, at the Shire and at the now rebuilt Moria... Some of our beloved characters got a fine message.

"Hey guys! Wassup?! So, I'm doomed, you know? Arwen's whole freaking family is coming from Valinor – I never thought this was actually possible – to see us! Can you imagine that? I'm screwed! So I thought you could be good friends and come and help me to menage them, what do you think?! I know you'd never fail me! Hugs from Arag the King."

****

"Oh my Eru he nutts!" was Eowyn's, Faramir's, Legolas', Eomer's, Gimli's, Pippin's, Merry's, Frodo's and Sam's thoughts while they were bursting out laughing. "How can he be so naive?" Then, when they stoped laughing and were still breathless and crying, they could notice a PS.

"PS – Just kidding! Muahahaahahaha! I'm invinting you to a huuuuuge party! Just thought it'd be great! See ya soon dudes!"

"LET'S PARTY!", they all screamed at the same time, even though they are so far from each other. 

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So, did you like it?  Please tell me! So, didn't you like it? Please tell me! Tell me whatever you want but please, REVIEW. It'll surely make my day brighter!!! : 0 )


	2. Are we there yet?

A/N: Thank you to all my kind reviwers! I left a little message to you at the end of the chapter!

I must warn you that I'm not being loyal to the Midle Earth map that Tolkien left us! 

Now on with the fic and plese REVIEW!

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"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are we the..."

"Shut your mounth right now or you'll be a dead king!"

"Ok!"

"Oh please dear don't be so rude to him!", Eowyn said.

"C'mon Eowyn! Your bro drives me nutts!", was Faramir's answer.

"Well just because I _am_ sort of a _king_ my beloved bro-in-law likes to mistreat me, Eowyn! But that's ok, sis... I know it's just envy!", Eomer said, all superior like.

"Oh please Eomer! You call that be a king? King of what? Of the ponies?", Faramir angrily replied.

"Wow, wow, _mighty steward!_ Or should I call you the _Prince _of that place.... what's its name? Oh, Ithilien, I guess!", Eomer said.

"Ok, _Eomer king!_ At least I live and rule the most beautiful place of Middle Earth!", Faramir answered.

"The most beautiful place? C'mon Faramir! Just because Leggy boy brought his friends to live there? You don't have a Gap at your place, do ya?", Eomer added.

"No I don't. But at least I have some fashion sense!", said an angry Faramir.

"Fashion sense? _Fashion sense_? Oh please Faramir!", Eomer was trying to find something better to say.

"Yeah I do have a fashion sense! I married your sis, didn't I? And isn't she the most beautiful lady you've ever seen?", he blinked and sarcastly smiled at his brother-in-law. "I got ya!", he muttered. 

"You'll pay me!", Eomer muttered back. "Yeah you're right! You have fashion sense!", he loudly said. "I'll kill ya!", he whispered to Faramir.

"Ai Valar! Please gimme the strength!", Eowyn begged. 

"It was your idea, honey!", Faramir said.

"Yeah I know! I'll never ask you to pick my brother again!", she agreed.

"You always tell so. And you always do it anyway!", Eomer said. "You love me!"

"Yes I do!", Eowyn smiled.

"I didn't mean you! I meant Faramir!", Eomer said.

"No I don't", Faramir replied.

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

"Ai Valar!" Eowyn whispered rolling her eyes.

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"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"Nope!"

"Are we there yet?"

"You know Gimli... Sometimes I really do ask myself why I got this close to you, you know?", Legolas said.

"Are we there yet?"

"No, Gimli, we're not there yet! Can't you see we're still in Mirkwood?"

"Oh yeah!", Gimli replied. 

Few seconds later...

"Are we there yet?"

"Ai Valar!", Legolas whispered rolling his eyes.

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"Aren't we having breakfeast?"

"We already had"

"I mean second breakfeast!"

"Nope!"

"Why?"

"Because we have to get to Gondor, you moron! We cannot stop all the time!"

"Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh", Merry and Pippin nodded.

"Oh, and by the way: are we there yet?"

"No, Sam. No we aren't!"

"But Mr Frodo I'm hungry!"

"We already ate, for Eru's sake!"

"But we are hungry!", three hobbits cried behind a forth one.

"No, we won't stop!"

"Pleeeeeease!!!!"

"No!"

"Ok, then. We'll be annoying 'till you stop!", Merry menancingly said.

"You are annoying all the time! There's no need to worry!", Frodo calmly answered.

"_Oh, there's no need to worry_! Merry please let's mimic Tom Bombadil..." Pippin grievously said.

"Oh no please don't! We'll stop next fast food place!", replied a scared Frodo. "Ai Valar!", Frodo whispered rolling his eyes.

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"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are we there yet?"

"Nope!"

"Are we..."

"If you don't stop this I swer I'll kill ya, twins!"

"But grandma I am sea sick!", said Elladan.

"Me too!", said Elrohir.

"Now Elrond, you are a looser!", Galadriel said.

"Why this now?", answered a surprised Elrond.

"Your children are elves who are sea sick! Oh my!", Galadriel replied.

"Must be their mother's fault!", Elrond smiled.

"No way!", Celeborn went to his wife defence.

"Ok now look at there then!", Elrond pointed to someone.

"Oh Eru my daughter!", said Galadriel.

"I cannot believe this!", Celeborn said.

"Ok but believe it: dear Celebrian _is_ sea sick!", Elrond said. "So now who's the looser Galadriel? Who's the looser, hmmm?", he danced the elven victory dance.

"I swear I'll kill you, Elrond!", said the White Lady.

Elrond just kept on dancing the elven victory dance.

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Ai Elbereth! Twins... everything doubles! Including the annoyance!, Galadriel muttered and nodded.

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Ai Valar!", Elrond stopped his dance and whispered rolling his eyes.

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At the fast food...

"Oh look who are here!", Frodo smiled.

"Hi hobbit friends!", Legolas happily answered.

"Oh hello! I never thought we'd find you here! I thought the only thing elves needed to feed while travelling were Lembas bread!", Sam pondered.

"And it is! But I am not alone! Look who's coming!", the elf said.

"Hello hobbits!" someone said behind a full tray.

"Oh hello Gimli!", the hobbits said.

A little after...

"Oh look who's here!", Eowyn smiled.

"Hello Eowyn!", Gimli, Legolas and the hobbits said.

"Are you alone?", Gimli was surprised.

"No! I parked the car and left Faramir and Eomer aguing to see who are the best car parker!", Eowyn said and went to buy some food.

"I guess I didn't get her point!", Legolas said. And to that all nodded in agreement.

"Oh look who's here!" Faramir said taping Eomer's shoulder.

"Hi Eomer! Hi Faramir!", they all friendly said.

"Ok then buddy! Let's get something to eat!", Faramir said.

"Ok dude! I'm starving! And since the car misteriously parked itself...", Eomer said, and they both left the table.

"Got the point now?", blinked a recently arrived Eowyn.

"Ooooooohhhhhhhh!", they all astonished understood.

Half an hour later...

"So guys Arag's giving a huge party then?", Legolas asked.

"So here goes Mr Obvious again!", Gimli said and all laughed.

"I didn't get the point!", Legolas was angry.

"Goblins!", Pippin said.

"Orcs!", Sam added.

"And the best of all: a diversion!", Eomer pointed.

All of them burst out laughing. 

"I was only trying to be nice and introduce something to talk about than the weather!", Legolas cried.

"Legolas is right. I'm not feeling very confortable with that invitation anyway!", Eowyn agreed.

"Why?", everyone asked.

"Because I think there's something weird about all this. You all know Arwen wouldn't let Arag to give a party without a good reason!", she said and they nodded in agreement. "So guys what do you think?"

Silence. Deadly silence.

"I think we should party anyway!", Eomer answered.

"I agree!", Faramir said. All of them stared at him in surprise. "Why? What did I do?"

"You just agreed with me!", Eomer was so emotioned.

"I did?" All nodded. "It was a lapse! It won't happen anymore!", Faramir said.

"I hope so! I hope so!", Eomer replied and gave Faramir the death glare. Everyone stood there looking as they hadn't understood anything.

"Don't mind!", Eowyn said.

"Anyhow we should go there and see what's going on!", Legolas said and everybody agreed.

Silnece. Dead silence.

"Hello nasssssty casssssshier! We wantsssssss fisssssh!", said a strange creature to the cashier girl.

All of our friends undertandly looked at each other. "Save your souls!", shouted Gimli, and they all left runing.

"Ai Valar!", the creature whispered rolling its eyes. 

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"Are they here yet?"

"No!"

"Are they here yet?"

"No!"

"Are they here yet?"

"No!"

"Are they he...?"

"Oh please be quiet Estel!", Arwen desperately said.

"I'm nervous, that's all!", the king answered.

"And you're driving me nutts! Stop it!", the elf said.

"Ok!", he nodded. 

Two seconds and a half later...

"Are they here yet?"

"Ai Valar!" she whispered rolling her eyes.

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Now a little note to my reviewers:

trisket-n-gunther: Thanks! I did read your work and it's really good!

Caroline: I'm so sorry you didn't like it! 

Meegan: Thank you! I'm changing the characters, I know, but it's a humor fic after all isn't it?

Dreamality: I'm SO happy you liked it! Please keep reading and telling what you think!

Golden Hobbit: Thanks! I loved your fic by the way!

Uiniel: Yeah, I know spelling and grammar are an annoying thing that I must work on. But I'll try and improve, ok?


	3. The arrival

A/N: I'm glad you're liking it! I hope you like this chapter as well! Please REVIEW!

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Half a mile from Minas Tirith, Legolas' car, which was leading all of the other cars, suddenly stopped. The elf graciously left the vehicle, while the others were stopping too. 

"Now what's that for, Leggy boy?", Faramir was a little bit angry.

"Yeah he's right. What did you stop for?", Eomer agreed. And to that the others stared surprised at him. "Why? What did I do?", he asked, confused.

"Well you just agreed with me!", Faramir was so emontioned.

"Did I?", he asked and all nodded in agreement. "It was a lapse! It won't happen anymore!", was Eomer's answer.

"I hope so! I hope so!", Faramir replied giving his brother-in-law the death glare. Everyone stood there looking as they haven't understood anything.

"Don't mind!", Eowyn smiled.

"Well they love each other anyway!", Legolas wasn't giving a damn anymore. 

"No we don't!", Faramir and Eomer answered in unison.

"Oh c'mon shut up you two!", Frodo lost his patience. "Why, oh mighty Eru, have you stopped for, Legolas?"

"Do you remember what Eowyn told us at that fast food place?", the elf asked and they all nodded. "So... what if Arag's mocking at us – again? Or what if Arwen doesn't know about the party? What if Arag's geting us into trouble – again?", Legolas was agitated.

"He's got a point!", Gimli said. 

"He has indeed! But what do you suggest?", Pippin asked.

"Well I think Eowyn should go first and alone to see how things are there!", Legolas replied.

"Me? Why me, Valar?", Eowyn was not so happy at all.

"Because you are Arwen's best girl friend!", Gimli was understading Legolas' point.

"I am her only girl friend!", Eowyn shouted.

"Just a detail!", Frodo nodded.

"I tried to steal Arag from her, for Eru's sake!", Eowyn shouted.

"Second option! Second option! Rest!", Eomer sarcastly said.

"At least I have a wife!", Faramir answered. "And by the way, dear wife, why have you always to recall that you had a crush on Arag the king?", he smiled a fake smile.

"Well Faramir my love it's true isn't it? How can I just appear by Gondor's Palace entrance and say 'hello Arwen my dear I was just around and decided visiting you?'", Eowyn said.

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Half an hour later...

"Hello Arwen my dear I was just around and decided visiting you!", Eowyn smiled by the Gondor Palace entrance. 

"How nice of you! You couldn't arrive in a better moment! Can you imagine that my fa...", Arwen could not fisish her sentence.

"EOWYN! Good to see you! Come with me. I need to show you my oh my ah my uh my new armory!" Aragorn had to take Eowyn out of there.

"Ok Arag! See ya soon Arweeeeeeen!", Eowyn said while Aragorn run pulling her by the hand.

"Well there's something quite wrong here! First Eowyn shows up and when I'm going to tell her about my family's arrival Estel just take her away! What's he planning?", Arwen stood there lost in her thoughts.

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By the Gondor Palace armory....

"You can let me go now Arag! Oh please is this the way to treat me?", Eowyn was angry.

"Oh now you'll pretend to be a girl!", Aragorn was even angrier.

"I _am _sort of a _girl_, ain't I?", Eowyn was even more angrier.

"I mean a girly girl!", Aragorn answered watching Eowyn's look to that big sword over there. 

"Oh!", was Eowyn's only answer.

"Where are the others?", the former Ranger asked.

"They're waiting for my sign! They need to know if everything's ok, if you're not mocking us or geting us into trouble – again!", the Shieldmaiden said.

"Oh I see! Well just give'em the sign then!", the king answered. "They are not that dummies anymore!", he thought to self.

"I think I'll regret this but... ok!", Eowyn answered. Then she got a firework (which was given to her by Merry and Pippin who were by their turn given it by Gandalf years ago) and exploded it out of the window. "Now just wait!"

"Wow!", Aragorn seated down waiting, a little bit afraid of what could happen when they finally know that Arwen's entire freaking family is already there.

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"Look there! Eowyn's sign!", Merry pointed to the sky. 

"And there goes our last firework!", Pippin sobbed.

"At least it was for a good reason Mr Pippin!", Sam tapped the other hobbit's shoulder.

"Well let's go then!", Legolas said and they all climbed in their cars and drove to Minas Tirith.

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By the Gondor Palace entrance...

"Hello Arwen my dear I was just around and decided visiting you!", they all said in unison with a fake smile.

"Hello my friends! Mark the coincidence: Eowyn has just arrived! Guess she was also just around and decided visiting me too?", Arwen sarcastly said. "Come in, come in!", she was being nice. "Estel will just pay me back!", she thought to self.

"Now look who's here!", Elrond said with his arms wide opened.

"Lord Elrond?", they all said in unison again. "Aragorn will just pay me back!", they all thought to selves.

"My dear friends! It's wonderful to see ya guys!", Aragorn just arrived along with a pale Eowyn.

"Love! You look pale!", Faramir was concerned with his wife.

"Sis what happened to you?", Eomer was even more concerned.

"And what is this bandage around your nose Aragorn? Don't you have any fashion sense, for the Valar's sake?", Legolas was disgusted.

"You... cannot... imagine...who...is...here!", Eowyn whispered shivering to the bones.

" Yeah Lord Elrond we have just seen him!", Faramir whispered back.

"Arag will pay us back sis, be sure!", Eomer muttered.

"I broke my nose Leggy!", Aragorn said.

"How did you break your nose Aragorn?", Gimli was curious.

"I... have... seen... the... twins!", Eowyn kept on whispering and shivering.

"Wow! But that's ok, the twins are nice after all!", Eomer whispered back trying to confort her sister. "We'll just kill Arag", he muttered to Faramir, who simply nodded in agreement.

"I fainted, Gimli.", Aragorn explained.

"Why on Middle Earth have you fainted Strider?", Sam asked.

"I... have... also... seen... Celebrian! And Celeborn.", Eowyn muttered.

"Oh no!", Faramir was loosing his self control.

"Yeah! And...even...worse... she is here! She! The White Lady! Galadriel!", Eowyn fainted.

"Eeeeeeeeep!!!!", Faramir and Eomer fainted.

"I broke my Eru forsaken nose when I read the Eru forsaken message telling me that Arwen's whole freaking famlily was coming from Valinor to visit us!", Aragorn was mad with so many questions.

"Eeeeeeeeep!", Legolas, Gimli, Merry, Pippin, Sam and Frodo fainted.

"Oh now I understand! You called them all didn't you Estel? Just for not  being alone with my whole freaking family isn't it? You'll pay me Estel!", Arwen was hearing everything behind the door.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeep", Aragorn fainted, foreseeing his bitter destiny. 

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Now to my kind reviewers:

Dreamality: I am really glad that you are liking it! Thanks for telling me I'm a good writer, my English thanks you! Please keep on reading it and telling what you think, it'll make me really happy!

Elfbrat18: Yeah, I wrote this thinking of my former trips as well! I'm glad you liked it and I hope you like this one as well! 


	4. One for all! And all for one!

A/N: Thank you all my kind reviewers! I hope you like this chapter! I don't really know where I wanna arrive with this, but I'm pretty sure I'll think about something! Lol! Enjoy yourselves and REVIEW!

Ah, and a little warning: this chapter isn't funny at all! I'm without inspiration! I need a muse! Lol! Anyway I hope you enjoy it!

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"Grandma! Grandma! Please wake up! Wake up!"

"Mmmmmmmmmmmm.... Go away Celeborn!"

"It's not grandaddy! Wake up grandma please! It's important!", the twins whispered nudging their grandmother.

"Oh my, twins! You _are_ really annoying, you know?", she said, streching out. "Uuuuuuaaaaaaaa, this trip was soooooooooo tiring!" Then she finally opened her eyes and saw the twins stuck there, staring at her, pale and shivering to the bones. "Oh my Eru what happened dears?", her mother's sense had spoken at last.

"Grandma... you cannot imagine what we saw!", Elladan said with a trembling voice.

"Yeah, grandma! We happened to see... her!", Elrohir was almost crying.

"Oh Elbereth! Tell me boys what you saw, please!", she asked and fondled their faces.

"Grandma... we saw the... the... oh my!... we saw...", Elladan burst out crying.

"We saw Lady Eowyn!", Elrohir completed his brother's sentence and then burst out crying too. 

"Don't you tell me that! Oh my mighty Eru! Don't! This cannot be true!", Galadriel nervously walked around her room.

"Hello dudes! Whassup?", Celeborn arrived.

"Celeborn dearest! Eowyn is here!", Galadriel jumped to her husband's arms.

"Oh no! Don't you tell me that! This cannot be true! For the Valar!", he hugged his wife and his grandsons, sobbing.

"What a beautiful moment! My family here, all happy hugged like this!", Celebrían naively said, and then noticed they were all crying in despair.

"Oh my Eru! What is it, mom?", she asked.

"Eowyn's heeeeeeere!", Galadriel whispered.

"Eowyn? _That_ Eowyn? The one who simply beated that Nazgul? I mean, the one who beated _the _Nazgul? Oh mighty Eru please save us!", she kneeled, begging.

"Celebrían my darling! Get up!", Elrond arrived by his turn.

"Dear! Oh please hug me! Hug me! Eowyn's here!", she screamed.

"Yes I know! I've seen her already! But you can't imagine who's here also! Legolas, Gimli, Faramir, Eomer, Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin! Everybody's here! I heard that Arag's giving a party to celebrate our arrival!", Elrond was so happy.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!", Galadriel, Celeborn, Celebrían, Elrohir and Elladan fainted.

"Now what have I done?", Elrond thought to self while trying to wake their folks up.

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"Oh my, what a headache!", Pippin muttered waking up. "Merry, are you ok?"

"Yes I am. How about you Sam? And you Frodo?", Merry asked.

"Despite the headache, everything's fine!", Sam said and Frodo nodded. Then they could realize a shivering Eowyn on the corner of the Hall.

"My Lady what is it? Please tell us!", Merry cuddled her.

"Arwen's whole freaking family is here!", she sobbed. "I could seen them: scaring Galadriel was sleeping, Celeborn and Celebrían were eating, so the three of them didn't see me. But freaking twins saw me! Oh my!"

"Yeah we know! But this can't be that bad!", Sam was trying to cheer her up.

"Oh my love! I cannot believe Arag's done it with us!", Faramir woke up too.

"But indeed he did!", Eomer said.

It was only then that they could realize Aragorn was also there, fainted.

"We could kill him now and nobody would notice!", Eomer pointed out.

Everybody stared at him in astonishment.

"What? What is it?", the horse master looked dumb. 

Faramir just gave Eomer the death glare. Then he approached Aragorn, trying and waking him up.

"Hello dudes! It's good to see ya here without Arwen or any of Arwen's freaking relatives around!", Aragorn smiled and did the puppy face.

"Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh", everyone melted. "Puppy face: not fair!"

"Oh Arag dude! Weren't them in Valinor?", Gimli asked and Aragorn nodded.

"I never thought people could possibly come back from Valinor...", Legolas thought loudly.

"Neither did I Leggy! But yet they did! Well let's forget about them freaking people now! I missed ya!", Aragorn hugged all of them.

"Aragorn, how can we forget about them freaking people? They're here at the same palace as us! I'm frightened!", Eowyn said.

"You are frightened, Eowyn? I never thought you could possibly be frightened!", Legolas thought loudly.

"Neither did I Leggy! But you must agree with me: they're scaring! Specially Galadriel!", Eowyn stated.

"Well you are scared but I'm doomed!", Aragorn said and seated down, hopeless.

"Why?", Frodo asked.

"Arwen knows that I've invited you to a huuuuuuge party! And she knows I did it 'cause I didn't want to be alone with her freaking family!", Aragorn answered.

"Well how naive of you to think she'd not figure that out, Arag!", Eomer said.

"Now it's done anyway! And we have to make a plan!", Aragorn resolutely said.

"A plan for what, Aragorn?", Faramir was geting tired of all this.

"To beat them!", Aragorn said with flaming eyes. "One for all!"

"And all for one!", they all cried, even though they'd never heard a word about Duma's Three Mosketeers. 

*************************************

Not so far from there...

"Oh my what a headache!", Celeborn said. "Galadriel dear, are you ok? And you, daughter?"

"Well daddy despite the headache everything's ok!", Celebrían said, and Galadriel nodded.

"Mom I wanna leave!", spoke a weeping Elladan.

"Me too!", agreed a scared Elrohir.

"Why? Why are you so scared?", Elrond did not get the point.

"Well lemme see... maybe because all of Aragorn's freaking friends are here at the same palace as us!", Galadriel answered with arms crossed in a menancingly way.

"But what's the point anyway? They're all great guys! They all helped to save Middle Earth, for the Valar's sake!", Elrond still did not get the point.

"But they are scaring daddy! Very frightening!", Elladan said, hugged to his brother.

"What's happening here?", asked a recently arrived Arwen with a baby girl in her amrs and three other children around her.

"Oh my! Our grandchildren, Elrond! Look at them, how cute!", Celebrían said.

"Is this grandma?", Eldarion asked.

"Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh", everyone melted. "How cute!"

"What were ya talking about when I arrived, darlings?", Arwen asked.

"About Aragorn's freaking friends!", Celeborn said, holding his baby granddaughter in his arms.

"Tell them Arwen. Tell them they are nice people!", Elrond said.

"Yes they really are, daddy. When there's a war and people to beat and rings to destroy and a world to save from doom. But in peaceful times like this, they are a threat worse than Sauron himself!", she was shivering.

"I don't know why! They're so nice people!", Elrond _still_ did not get the point.

"That's because you're only half an elf, Elrond _Halfelven_!", Galadriel was going mad.

"Legolas is _two halves_ an elf, and he's there!", Elrond got a point.

"He's also freaking anyway! Haven't you heard anything about how he cutted that mûmak into pieces? Or how he climbed that horse when he fought the wargs? Or how he surfed that shield at Helm's Deep? And the worst of all: how he could spend three days without bathing during the War?", was Celebrían's answer and all of them shivered to her last statement. "Scaring!"

"Well anyway I don't wanna leave anymore! The children are soooooo cute!  I must spend more time with them before going back to boring Valinor!", Elrohir said cuddling Eldarion. 

"Bro's right! And this is also Arwen's home, for Eru!", Elladan stated.

"We have to make a plan then!", Arwen was grievous.

"A plan for what, child?", Celebrían asked.

"To beat them! To beat Aragorn's freaking friends!", Arwen said. "One for all!"

"And all for one!", they all but Elrond said, even though they had never heard a word about Duma's Three Musketeers.

"No way this is gonna work! I don't know why they're so scared anyway!", muttered Elrond while leaving all his freaking family arguing about how to beat Aragorn's freaking friends behind. 

*************************************************

Dreamality: Thank you again for reading this! You're sure my most loyal reviewer: bless you! And about the Estel/Aragorn thing: I made Arwen call him Aragorn, because everybody's doing so anyway and it sounds better, doesn't it?. But as I've always thought that Arwen called him Estel, I just took a look at third book appendices (I don't know how to spell it, sorry!). There, at the Tales of Arwen and Aragorn (don't know if it's like this in English), when he passes away, she cries Estel! Estel!, then I thought she called him Estel his entire life. And now I have this doubt: how should she call him anyway? Well in this story she'll call him whatever she wants to! Lol! Please keep reviewing and telling what you think, ok? THANK YOU! 

Aragorn Elessar 17: I am SO happy you liked it! I hope you like this chapter as well! Please keep reading and telling what you think, ok?

c_marabini: thanks cousin! You are always so kind! But you are still the best authoress you know don't ya? Beijos e abraços! Te adoro!

Uineniel: Thanks too much for your kind reviews! And please forgive my grammar/spelling errors, I've been studying English for two years only! I really hope that someday I'll write and talk as a true English native speaker (thanks God we don't pay taxes for dreaming!) Lol! Please keep reading and telling what you think, ok? Oh, and as you could realize for this chapter, the feelings here are reciprocal! I hope you like this chapter as well!


	5. Catfight

A/N: First of all I need to apologize for this chapter.. It is a little bit (ok, totally, to be honest) pointless. I'm not inspired! Oh I need ideas!!! Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Don't forget to REVIEW!

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"Ok now that we have a plan we'll try and act as normal people! Please don't you run away if you see one of our foes!", Celeborn pointed out.

"We'll try to", Elladan spoke in their names.

"So let's leave this room! It's suffocating me! Let's take a walk around the gardens!", Arwen was begging for air.

They all left the suffocating room into the blessed garden. 

*********************************

"Ok now that we have a plan we'll try and act as normal people! Please don't you run away if you see one of our foes!", Frodo pointed out.

"We cannot distinguish friends from foes anymore!", Eomer said gravely. Then he felt his neck burning.

"Please Eomer! Stop this movie thing!", Faramir just slapped his brother-in-law neck.

"Stop that you two!", Legolas was about to loose his mind. 

"We'll try to!", Pippin said.

"We'll try to do what, Pip?", Gimli shouted.

"We'll try and act like normal people and not run away when we see our foes!", Pippin spoke in their names. 

"So let's leave this hall! It's suffocating me! Let's take a walk around the gardens!", Eowyn was begging for air.

They all left the suffocating hall into the blessed garden. Sam was speacially happy about it.

*************************************

Arwen's family stepped on the garden coming from the Palace's west wing. Aragorn's friends stepped on the garden coming from the Palace's east wing. All in the same moment. They all stood there, glaring at each other, studying their enemies. Specially Arwen and Aragorn: they were death glaring each other, making a huge effort not to break the eye contact. Then Elrond – who just happened to be already there – left and came back bringing a scissors, which he used to pretend to be cutting something in the air between Aragorn and Arwen.

"What are you doing?", the couple asked simultaneously.

"I'm cutting the tension!", Elrond said. 

Now everybody was fighting the laughter. But they hold still, not breaking the eye contact. But Elrond's disappointment face was far too much funny and they all burst out laughing at the same time. And it was like that that the tension between the two gangs was gone – at least for a few seconds.

Aragorn, still laughing, passed his arm around Arwen's waist and kissed her cheek. "I am giving that party you know?", he muttered with a grin.

"And we'll be there!", she muttered back. "Prepare yourself and your moron friends, 'cause we will rock ya!"

"We will see who's gonna be rocked!", Aragorn said between his closed teeth and let her go. Then he coughed as he had something really important to say. They all hold still in silence waiting for the king to speak.

"My friends! I am proud to have you here! At this very garden, we have here by my side my best friends, the Middle Earth savers: Faramir the mighty steward; Eomer king of Rohan; Eowyn the Nazgul-slayer; Gimli, very dangerous in short distances; Frodo of the nine fingers, the Ringbearer; Pippin guard of the citatel; Merry the Rohan knight; Samwise the Brave; and Legolas _'insert the best adjetives you know here'_; oh, and not to forget about me, the remainder of the old númenorian kings. In front of me, we have Elladan and Elrohir, the twins, the best archers of Middle Earth _and_ Valinor; Celeborn, wisest of all; Galadriel, telepathic lady, former ruler of Lothlórien; Celebrían, my sweet mother-in-law; and Arwen, the most beautiful lady that ever stepped on Middle Earth, except for Luthien, who was as gorgeous as she is! In the middle we have Lord Elrond the councilor _and_ counselor, who'll be the judge! Now everybody FIGHT!", Aragorn excitedly said.

They all stood there staring Aragorn in astonishment. 

"What? What is it?", Aragorn stood there, looking dumb.

"You presented everybody like we were in a box fight or something", Eowyn whispered to Aragorn.

"Ooooooohhhhh!", the king understood what was going on. "I mean, I'm giving a huuuuuge party to pay homage to you all! Please be at the dinner hall at eight p.m.!", he said smiling.

"Ai Valar!", they all whispered and nodded. 

***********************************************

A few minutes later, at Faramir and Eowyn's room – yes, just in case you're wondering, Aragorn gave them good and shining rooms. 

"Eomer please I gotta practice! I'm going to rust! C'mon bro, pleeeeeeease!", Eowyn was begging.

"I cannot believe that you wanna practice sword fight _now_, Eowyn! We have a party in a few hours, don't you remember?", Eomer was not in the mood.

"Faramir, you then! Let's practice!", Eowyn shouted.

"C'mon Eowyn! Let's take a nap!", Faramir was tired.

"You morons! You idiots! You dummies! You kinda deserve each other!", she left muttering.

"She's your sis!", Faramir stated.

"Nope, she's your wife!", Eomer replied.

"Your sis!"

"Your wife!"

"Your sis!"

"Your wife!"

"Oh please you two! Can't you stop with that?", Legolas, who happened to be walking aimlessly around the Palace, just arrived there. "Where's Eomer's sis _and_ Faramir's wife anyway?", he asked.

"Aren't they the same person?", Eomer was confused.

"Yeah I really think they are, Eomer!", Faramir was also confused. "Who are you looking for, Leggy: my wife or Eomer's sis?"

"Nevermind!", Legolas sadly nodded. "I'll find her myself!", he left so graciously as only elves can be.

"Do you think this elf is kinda gay, Eomer?", Faramir asked as soon as Legolas stepped out.

"Who knows dude? Who knows?", was Eomer's answer.

******************************************

Not really far from there, at Celeborn and Galadriel's good and shining room, to be precise...

"Grandpa please I wanna practice!"

"Yeah, we're gonna rust if we don't practice!"

"Twins, do you really want to practice bow and arrow _now_?", Celeborn asked, yawning.

"Pleeeeeeeeease?", Elladan and Elrohir said at the same time.

"Leave now and never come back!", Galadriel said staring the twins. She looked so evil that they left runing without even questioning, which was very uncommon for them. 

"Oh my dear! You can be so bad when you want to! Specially when you mimic Gollum!", Celeborn said laughing as soon as the twins stepped out.

"Yeah, at least now we can take a little nap before the party... we'll need our full batteries to attend it!", she said laughing too. Then they both fall asleep.

*****************************************

At another corner of huge Gondor Palace...

"No one wants to practice with me! No one loves me!", Eowyn was having one of her 'no one loves me' moments.

"I do!", said a familiar voice behind her.

"Oh Legolas you love me? I'm SUCH a lucky girl!", she said smiling. Then she jumped to his arms. 

"No I do wanna _practice_ with you!", he said pushing her away. 

"Oh!", Eowyn said. "I misunderstood you! But anyway let's practice!", she said and they left. 

Then they both got to the "Gondor Fight Practice Arena". Yes, the name sounds a little bit like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers, but since they'd never heard a word about this movie, that's ok.

"Eowyn sheeeesh! Look who's there!", he pointed to the twins who were practicing bow and arrow.

"We could kill them now and nobody would notice!", she pointed out.

"And then you Rohan brothers say that Arwen's family is the freaking one...", he sadly nodded and she didn't really understand why.

"Well what do we do then?", she asked.

"We do practice!", he said with an evil grin. "HEY TWINS!", he said and left prancing into the "Gondor Fight Practice Arena" direction. 

"Elladan we're doomed! It's the freaking elf!", Elrohir whispered to his brother.

"The doom of our race! Our black sheep! The bad elf! But remember grandaddy's words: try and act as normal people!", Elladan whispered back and smiled to the Mirkwood elf.

"So twins! Let's practice all together!", Legolas proposed. 

"Yeah 'course!", Elladan was barely hiding his disconffort.

"EOWYN! Come here!", Legolas said and Eowyn slowly left the bush she was hiding in.

"Hello boys!", she said barely hiding her disconffort. "Wanna practice?", she asked with a fake smile.

"Draw your sword if you dare Milady!", Legolas smiled at her. Then he also drew his elven knives and they started fighting.

"That sounds great Elladan!"

"Yes it does Elrohir!"

And the twins also got their elven knives. 

"You think it's a good thing to do to cross swords with a Pirate?", Legolas gravely said to the twins and smiled.

"My Errol Flynn!", Eowyn laughed clapping, even though they'd never heard a word about this great old Hollywood star. 

And soon the four of them were more like playing then really practicing. 

**************************************

"My dear Elrond. Do you think our daughter is happy here?", Celebrían asked his husband. The elf couple was aimlessly walking around the Palace.

"Celebrían darling don't make me laugh! Do you really think it was a good thing to give up her immortality to marry a moron like Aragorn? Oh please, she'd be  happier with us back in Valinor!", he was angry. "Anyway it's already done and...", he felt himself being pulled to some kind of closet. Then everything got dark.

"Sheeesh Elrond!", Celebrían whispered. "They're heeeeeeeere!"

"Who? The Nine?", Elrond was frightened by his wife misterious and grave look.

"No.... The Four!", she whispered and her voice was almost fading.

"What four my Eru?", Elrond screamed even though he was still whispering.

"The Hobbits! Sheeeeeeesh!", she said nervously rubbing her hands.

"C'mon dear! Please!", he sighed and was opening the closet's door to get out. Then they both could hear a conversation...

"Oh my Eru! They're gonna kill each other! Call Faramir and Eomer, Pippin! And show us the meaning of haste!", it was Frodo's voice.

Elrond quickly came out the closet just to find three scared hobbits looking out into the direction of the "Gondor Fight Practice Arena". The elf took his wife by her hand and went to see what was going on. It was then that they saw four people _catfighting_. He could distinguish pointy ears there... 

"Elves! They're elves! Celebrían go and bring Galadriel and Celeborn! And show us the meaning of haste!", Elrond gravely spoke and Celebrían left. 

"Oh hello Master Elrond!", Sam said.

"Hello Sam! Hello Merry! Hello Frodo!"

"Popcorn?", Merry offered Elrond.

"Thanks!", Elrond got a few popcorns watching the _catfight_.

"NO DON'T TOUCH THERE!", a voice that they thought was Legolas' came from the mess.

"WOW! THE PRINCE'S FRIGHTENED!", another voice, this one a little bit like Elladan's.

At this very moment, Eomer and Faramir got to the "Gondor Fight Practice Arena" coming from the east wing. Celeborn and Galadriel, at the same moment, came from the west wing. They all death glared each other.

"FOR HUMANS!", Eomer shouted and Faramir nodded. They drew their swords and went to battle.

"FOR ELVES!", Galadriel shouted and Celeborn nodded. They drew their elven knives and went to battle.

"Oh no the situation got worse!", Frodo stated.

"Indeed!", Elrond agreed. "Sam, could you please go and get Aragorn and Arwen?", he smiled. 

"Ok...", Sam left.

"No way I'm gonna loose the best part of the fight!", Elrond said. Merry and Pippin nodded.

Now they were all so mixed that nobody could possibly distinguish friends from foes, as Eomer had predicted. And, at this very moment, an heroic king Elessar arrived with shining Narsil.

"FOR FRODO!", he shouted. 

"Eru, will he someday be aware that the War – and the movie – is over?", Arwen muttered and sadly nodded. Then she jumped into the battle too. 

"Wow, this is getting even better!", Pippin cheered. "Go Aragorn go!"

"Go Aragorn go!", the other three hobbits cheered two.

"Hey wait a minut! Go Arwen go!", Elrond cheered. 

"Yeah go Arwen go!", Celebrían just showed up again. 

Then the hobbits, Elrond and Celebráin started fighting too. Everything turned into a massive mess now. 

"So.... grandma... you... decided... practicing... too?", asked a breathless Elladan.

"Are... you... just... practicing?", Galadriel asked back.

"Yes... isn't it a good exercice?", Legolas said prancing. Then Eowyn climbed his back and tried to beat him down. Both were laughing as mad people.

"STOP IT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!", Galadriel said looking as scaring as she could – and, since we're talking about Galadriel, just imagine how frightening she can look like!

Everyone stepped back, including Celeborn. They were almost weeping.

"These four idiots were just... practicing!", Galadriel angrily said.

"Oh no!", Faramir, Eomer, Aragorn, Arwen, and Celeborn were astonished. 

"Yes! And now look at us! We're all dirty!", the White Lady disgustly said.

"Huuuuuuuummmmmmmm!", the elves disgustly percieved they were dirty indeed.

"Uaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... can't we take a nice nap at this place? Do you really have to scream all the time? My Eru you are all dirty and sweating you freaking people!", Gimli said, looking as he had just waken up. They all simply rolled eyes. 

"Well since it was all a misunderstanding, I think we should go now and get prepared for the party!", Aragorn said smiling.

"Do you really think we can get through this party without killing each other, _babe_?", Arwen whispered to Aragorn.

"We'll see!", was the former Ranger's answer, while he thought if the so-called Earth that Mary Sues always talked about was a good place to live. "Just in case of total doom!", he thought to self climbing to his room.  

*************************************************

To my kind reviewers...

Dreamality: How do you review so fast? My faithful reviewer! *sheds joyful tears* Bless ya! Oh, and yes, I'm a Brazilian girl... a 16 years old Brazilian girl, to be more precise! I'm taking English classes for two years now. My older cousin Camila (c_marabini) and I use to practice! Then she told me she was improving her writing here and TCHANAN here I am. I am very proud now that you didn't realize I was no English native writer! Bless ya again! *can't stop shedding joyful tears* Anyway hope you like this chapter as well! And hope I can come up with a great idea for the next one! Lol!

Lady Fowl-Potter of the Rings: Thanks for your kind review! I'm glad you liked it! I'll explain next chapter – or next next chapter, I'm not quite sure yet – why they are so afraid of each other. And they faint all the time exactly because of this fear! Thanks again, I hope you like this chapter and keep reading and reviewing! 

c_marabini: Cousin dear! Stop showing off, you concieted! Lol! And you're still the best one! Beijos beijos!


	6. Interact or how it all started

A/N: I beg you to be patient now, because this chapter is kind of an interlude, an interact. Here we'll finally know why they are so scared with each other. I think this may be a little bit (ok, a lot, to be honest) confusing, and I again beg you to be patient with it!

Anyway please REVIEW!

Oh, and I am so happy today – finally, after saving money for three months, I got to buy The Silmarillion! Go me!

Now on with the Interact!

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"Now Eomer dearest could you please get your butt out of here?", Eowyn stated with a grin.

"Why?", Faramir asked looking dumb as usual. 

"Because, my dearest hubby, this is our room! _Ours_! Our own! Our precious!", Eowyn pointed out.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, where's he? Where's Gollum?", Sam came in the room runing menancingly holding a hot smoothing iron.

"It's not Gollum –  just mad Eowyn!", Eomer smiled at the hobbit who left breathing in a relieved way and muttering something about having to iron Mr Frodo's clothes. 

"You've got a room of your own, Eomer! Get out of here!", Eowyn was going mad.

"Why do I have to go?", Eomer was feeling hurt.

"Yeah, why does he have to go?", Faramir felt hurt too.

"Ai Valar!", she rolled her eyes. "Because I have to bath and get prepared for the party!"

"I don't wanna leave!", Eomer insisted.

"I don't wanna him to leave!", Faramir shouted.

"Fine! Go to Eomer's room then you two and leave me alone!", she angrily threw her husband the clothes he'd wear at the party.

"Ok!", they smiled kissing each one one of her cheeks and left. 

"I think I'll never understand these guys! The boys of my life!", she smiled rolling eyes. Then she went to bath.

***************************

"Eomer, Faramir, where're you going dudes?", Gimli met the guys at the corridor.

"To my room. We're gonna take a shower and get prepared to the party!", Eomer replied.

"Oh... I'm going to our room too. I wanna bath before Leggy – you imagine how many time he spends bathing, don't ya? Could you guys please do me a favor? If you see Leggy boy, please entertain him. I don't know how –  talk about something, ask him something, I dunno, just slow him, pleeeeeease?", Gimli asked trying to get somehow a puppy face.

"Ok Gimli but please do not try to make a puppy face! It's scaring!", Faramir disgustly said.

"Thanks guys! I'll pay you a beer!", he left runing.

"Very funny this dwarf fellow, isn't he?!", Eomer laughed. 

When the boys were arriving at Eomer's room...

"Hey dudes what are you doing?", Legolas asked.

Faramir and Eomer stared at each other. How to slow the elf? It was no easy job at all, since Legolas did not get interested with futile things. 

"Wow, what a catfight we got into, hmmm?", Faramir was desperately trying to find a subject to talk about. 

"I have no time to talk about this now. I have to prepare myself for the party. Do you know how many time I spend bathing, using my beauty products _and_ fixing my hair?", he asked. "A lot!", he answered his own question wide-eyed.

"Poor Gimli!", Faramir thought. But then Eomer just came with the perfect plot to win the elf's attention.

"Leggy, could you imagine that we would be with Arwen's freaking family again under the same roof?", was Eomer's brilliant idea. Then he blinked to Faramir, who looked really relieved.

Legolas was even more wide-eyed. His big blue elven eyes were staring at nowhere, as he was remembering old things. Old memories that he was trying to forget but just kept on chasing him. "It is a tricky situation isn't it dudes?", he asked more to himself than to the guys.

"Yes it is. C'mon Leggy we have time! Let's take a sit at Eomer's place and have a nice chat! There's a long time that we don't have a good conversation!", Faramir tapped the elf's shoulder as they walked in the horse master's room.

"Here Leggy take this!", Eomer threw the elf a beer bottle. "You see, I've got a little refrigerator here!", he threw a bottle to Faramir and got one.

"So, Leggy! What a tricky situation hmmm?", Faramir said and then just let his elf pal talk.

"Ai guys! Valar! It can't be good to recall such things, but these memories just keep on chasing me! I can't forget those things! It was scaring, wasn't it?", he rubbed his hands. "And it all started as simple vacations...", he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, those vacations! Whose idea it was?!", Eomer was trying to remember.

"Aragorn's, as usual! He's _always_ geting us into trouble!", Faramir sadly nodded.

"And we seem to like it, since here we go again!", the elf sighed. "Those vacations... It all started 'cause Aragorn _'I am the king'_ was too tired and needed to rest. And freaking Arwen _'I have to make Ranger boy's life a living Mordor'_ decided her freaking family was goin' too!", Legolas swallowed a drain of beer. 

"Yes I do remember. And when Aragorn knew she was taking her family he decided taking us too!", Faramir sighed and emptied his bottle.

"Then we went to Dol Amroth!", Eomer said and smiled as the sweet memories of Prince Imrahil's daughter came to his mind. "I shall marry her!", he thought to self and shook his head, as to get away those stupid thoughts. 

"Yes, beautiful Dol Amroth! Nice Prince Imrahil! It's a pity that we'll never be able to see him again!", Legolas sobbed. "We just exploded the dude's palace!", he shouted. "How could we do it?"

"We were drunk Legolas. Galadriel kept on annoying Eowyn through telepathy, she drove sis mad. Then Eowyn almost killed her!", Eomer remembered. "How could you possibly have married my sis, Faramir?", he was curious.

"I always loved strong people! I need someone to control me, you know! And since daddy was dead... your sis just seemed perfect to the job!", Faramir answered and Eomer nodded in agreement.

"Yes I remember! Galadriel never talked to Eowyn again! And Eowyn haven't had a good sleeping night since then: she's always cursed with the thought that Galadriel will somehow read her thoughts!", Legolas was now shivering and his voice was fading.

"And then came the twins...", Eomer remembered.

"Oh yeah! Freaking twins just kept on mimicking Gollum to Frodo and Sam! Poor hobbits went mad!", Legolas said. 

"It was then that I had that stupid idea!", Faramir sobbed and Eomer rolled eyes.

"That's ok, Faramir. You were just mad because of your wife!", Legolas understandly tapped the Gondorian's shoulder. 

"Then Eomer and I put Celeborn's hair on fire!", Faramir almost laughed. They were now so happy due to the second bottle of beer. 

"Remember the Lord of Lothlórien runing as a chicken all around Imrahil's palace?", the three burst out laughing.

"And then Gimli tied Arwen's shoes...", Legolas was now drinking his third beer bottle.

"Wow it was so funny when she stumbled and fell right on Gandalf's lap!", Eomer was laughing so hard.

"I miss Gandalf the old fellow!", Legolas sighed.

"Yes, but when Arwen fell right on his lap he got so angry, the old Maia...", Eomer pointed out.

"And at this very moment Eowyn was chasing Galadriel, runing as a mad girl agitating her sword in the air and blowing her horn!", Faramir rolled his eyes.

"Also Sam and Frodo were trying to kill the twins!", it was Eomer turn to speak. "And Merry and Pippin were frying a fish, which made the entire palace stink as the Dead Marshes!"

"And Celeborn was runing trying to put out his hair's fire!", Legolas' turn.

"And Arwen was chasing us because we put her granpa on fire!", it was Faramir's.

"And I", Legolas sobbed, "I was trying to stop all this mess when Aragorn screamed so loud and, brandishing his sword, tried to kill everybody!", he sighed. "I got so scared that I pranced away. And it was when... Oh my!", he couldn't carry on talking. 

"Poor Prince Imrahil didn't know how to stop the mess!", Eomer sadly nodded.

"And then he had that great idea. How did he come to think of that, Eru?", Faramir never really understood.

"But yet he did it, my friends. He called Gandalf – who was so angry – and asked him to stop the mess. Then the Maia got his bigger fireworks. Exactly at this moment I was prancing away and Gandalf saw me. Then he asked me to stay there and light the fireworks – and we were still _inside_ the building. When it exploded, the Palace simply blew into the air – along with me!", his voice was almost fading. "And you stood there, looking like Merry and Pippin when they exploded Gandalf's fireworks at Bilbo's anniversary party, so many years ago...", Legolas was shivering.

"And you were missing!", Eomer recalled.

"I was hung to a tree, three miles away from what once was Dol Amroth's Palace!", this memory was so mean to our good elf guy.

"I happened to find you, half an hour later. You were there, all black. Even your hair was black! I could only see your teeth, as you were with your month wide opened!", Faramir manly groped Legolas' back, trying to consolate him. 

"I had been crying for a long time. When you found me, my voice was already gone, but I was still trying to scream for help. Oh, it took ages to me to make myself clean again! Can you imagine how painful it was?", Legolas emptied his fifth bottle with unshed tears in his eyes.

"Oh my! Poor Leggy boy!", Eomer said. "But anyway, now it's time for us to take a shower and get dressed to the party! We will rock them, Leggy, you'll see!"

"I'm sure we will!", the elf said.

Then the three got up. The world was spinning. They were drunk.

"Wow! Oh my, Valar, we're drunk!", Eomer laughed.

"Well I think I must go now! I'll bath! And I'll use my beauty products! And I'll fix my hair!", Legolas said and left, barely guessing the way to his room.

"We will do the same! And Gimli will pay us a beer!", Faramir said as soon as the elf stepped out the room. Then the two humans burst out laughing, remembering how funny it was to blow Dol Amroth's Palace into air. 

*******************************************

"Daddy please could you help me up with this?", Arwen shouted from her room. Elrond was teasing Galadriel and Celeborn at their room, spreading tooth paste in their faces while they were sleeping. 

"I'm coming!", he shouted back. "What's this smell, my Eru?", Elrond murmured covering his all too sensitive elven nose whe he stepped on his daughter's room.

"Help me daddy! Please!", Arwen was begging.

"Oh no, Arwen!", Elrond was astonished. "I've never changed _your_ nappies, you want me now to change your daughter's?", he was disgusted.

"Nevermind Arwen! Men! Humans or elves, they're all the same!", Celebrían arrived smiling and helpful.

The women changed the little baby's nappy. She was now clean and perfumed.

"Oh now she's a cute little elf baby!", Elrond smiled holding his baby grandaughter in his arms.

"She's half an elf! Just like you daddy!", Arwen smiled.

"Yeah... her dad is a good man, despite the fact that he is a moron!", Elrond poited out. He liked Aragorn and his friends, after all. 

"Good man, Elrond? How can you feel like that?", Celebrían was astonished. "You told me Arwen would be better with us back in Valinor!"

"And she would. But he's a good man!", Elrond insisted.

"But... but... I... I don't understand you, Elrond!", Celebrían was confused.

"Nevermind, daughter! It is because Elrond was drunk and didn't see what happened at Dol Amroth!", Celeborn arrived and everybody laughed.

"Well, don't blame me if I have alcohoolic amnesia!", Elrond had a point.

"Valar! Our family always do bad marriages, Celeborn dearest!", Galadriel arrived and everybody laughed.

"Why are you laughing at us?", the Lothlórien couple asked simultaneously. 

"Just 'cause you both have tooth paste spread all over your faces!", laughed Arwen.

Celeborn and Galadriel death glared Elrond. Then he screamed and inexplicably fainted.

"Mom! You are hurting people telepathically again!", Celebrían said trying and waking her husband up.

Celeborn just laughed. 

"Well you should like these Aragorn's freaking friends anyway Celebrían! It was because of them that we left to the Undying Lands!", Celeborn kissed his daughter's cheek.

"Yeah I know. Dol Amroth. When you told me what happened, I had nightmares for ages! Oh my! I never thought I'd meet these people, Eru!", Celebrían said cuddling her husband.

"They're good people! I know they are...", Elrond thought but didn't dare saying that out aloud. 

*******************************************

A note to my gentle reviewers.....

Denni-Bloom: I got really happy to read your review! It's always nice to have new people! I hope you keep reading! What do you think about this chapter?

Dreamality: Wow, you'll have to wait 'till next chapter to see what will happen at the party! But I needed to explain why they were so frightened at each other! I hope you like it!

AllyEvenstar: Nice to have new people! And it seems you found this really funny! Please keep on reading! 


	7. Party: part I

A/N: Hello everybody! Here the party finally starts! Next chapter it continues and then, at chapter 9, it finishes (at least I have planned like this!). 

I hope you like it, but I must warn you that my stock of gags is ending! Lol!

Anyway here it goes and please REVIEW!

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Eight p.m. Gondor Palace's Dinner Hall. It was all so shining, all so beautiful. The hall had been carefully arrenged. Two big tables were in the middle of it. Two big tables with delicate white and silver tablecloths. Upon then, two silver candlesticks with three little lit candles in each one. Around the tables, silver elvish chairs, like they used to make in Rivendell. The Dinner Hall was all white, as was whole Minas Tirith. It was really high, and four round white columns gave sustain to it. It was a huge round hall, and there were stairs leading to it all around the place, because it was on the lower level of the Palace. There were a stair coming from the east wing, one from the west, one from the north and one from the south. It was exactly on the middle of the beautiful white Gondor Palace. And today, the Dinner Hall was shining with silver. 

Eight p. m. Gondor Palace's Dinner Hall. Coming from the west stair, Arwen's family. Coming from the east one, Aragorn's friends. Musicians were playing their harps. It was everything so perfect that they almost forgot about how they were scared at each other.

"Oh my Eru! Look at there!", Gimli pointed at the two women that were coming down the west stairs. 

Faramir rubbed his eyes. Eomer did the same, and Legolas just smiled in pure amusement. The hobbits glared – but at the table food, nothing could be more attractive to them.

"It is the Morning and the Eve!", Aragorn glanced at Galadriel and Arwen and smiled. Galadriel all white and Arwen dressed in a long blue dress smiled back. 

"It is surely the most beautiful women that I have ever seen!", Eomer was astonished.

"Yes it is! It surely is!", Faramir agreed.

Aragorn stared at his wife in pure astonishment. He had almost forgotten how gorgeous she was. Then he bounded to her, offered her his arm and leaded her to her table. There she would be with her relatives. 

Eowyn jealously bit her inferior lip, staring at the two women now confortably seated on their table. The men – except for the hobbits, who were still glaring at the food table – were all staring at them in joy.

"_The morning and the eve! The morning and the eve!", _Eowyn muttered to herself mimicking Aragorn's way of speaking. She was really pissed off and cursing herself for she never could be a girly girl. 

In fact, she was really gorgeous too. But it was like she was the ugliest been in the whole world. She felt like an orc. How to seem beautiful and desirable near those elves? It was quite impossible. And there she stood, looking jealous and outraged.

Aragorn gravely coughed, as he always did when he had something important or solemn to say. "Welcome everybody to my homage to you! To you all! To my friends and to my wife's family! I'm really honored to have you here at my halls today, and please make yourselves confortable! Dinner will be served!", it was a solemn moment. Everyone seated down at their places and Aragorn clapped. With that, a legion of minions came to serve dinner.

And they all had a splendid dinner. And, exactly at 11 p. m., dinner had finished – surprisingly, it was peaceful. But, as we are in a humor fic, when dinner was over, Aragorn stood up and clapped again. And to that, the Dinner Hall became dark.

"Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!", they all mumbled in surprise. 

Then colorful lights suddenly illuminated the Hall. Up there at the terrace Beregond gave a ok sign to Aragorn and a lively music started playing.

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh!", they all shouted and began to dance. 

*****************************

At a corner of the Hall – I mean, we all know that round halls do not actually have a corner, but you get the point... The twins were dancing all alone. 

"Elladan! Elladan I am confused, bro!", Elrohir was shouting due to the music. 

"What is it Elrohir?"

"It is about what happened this afternoon!"

"You mean the catfight?", Elladan was curious.

"Yeah! Eowyn, you know! She's amazing!", Elrohir was confused. "She was playing with Legolas all the time! They seemed to be having such a great time! And she played with us as well! In fact I would like to be talking to her right now instead of stay here talking to you!"

"Oh that hurt! That hurt Elrohir!", Elladan was upset.

"Elladan don't be stupid! You know what I mean!", he crossed his arms not in a very friendly way.

"I do know what you mean bro! But for Eru's sake remember what she did to grandma there at Imrahil's!", Elladan was trying to clear his big bro's mind. 

"I do remember Elladan! But... what if it was all a misunderstanding anyway? What if these people is great as daddy says?", Elrohir was really confused. "We were all drunk anyway!", he had a point.

"Great Elladan! We need to get drunk! We must not loose this opportunity – Eru knows when we will be able to get drunk again! I'll go get us a drink, please don't leave!", Elladan said and left. Elrohir rolled eyes and stood there alone with his thoughts.

Then Elrohir shook his head as to get those very thoughts away. He sneaked to a hidden corner of the bar where nobody could see him and drank, drank a lot. "I have to stop thinking that!", he thought to self drinking another tequila. "Arriba!", he silently shouted. 

**********************

At the bar Eowyn was betting with Gimli who were the best drinker.

"Hey I bet ten gold coins at Eowyn!", shouted Aragorn.

"Ok Aragorn I go for Gimli then!", Merry covered his pal's bet. 

"GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!", Elrond, Merry, Pippin, Faramir, Eomer and the recently arrived Elladan shouted.

Eowyn empitied her glass. And so did Gimli.

"GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!", they all shouted – again. 

Eowyn emptied her glass. And so did Gimli. And so they did once, twice, thrice. At the forth time... 

"My Lady I must confess – you are really brave!", Gimli said and, with his eyes wide opened, fainted. Everybody laughed – they had drank lots of margueritas already.

***********************

At the middle of the hall, Galadriel, Arwen, Celebrían and Legolas were happily dancing. They were really gracious.

"Eomer dude do you think this elf is kinda gay?", Faramir asked.

"Who knows dude? Who knows?", Eomer asked. Then they started dancing too.

"What are you doing here big boys?", Eowyn had arrived at the dancing place too. She was really drunk and started dancing wildly.

"Wow this is my girl!", Faramir was also drunk.

"No she's my sis!", drunk Eomer said.

"My girl!"

"My sis!"

"My girl!"

"My sis!"

"You can be really annoying, you know?!", Galadriel said to them holding a marguerita glass.

Yes, I may be repetitive, but at this time they were all drunk already – which was a real danger, as we all know what happened the first time they got drunk together... 

"And you can be really gorgeous, Lady Galadriel!", Faramir stated.

"Indeed!", Eomer agreed. 

"I hate you two!", Eowyn said to her brother and her husband and left runing. The two men laughed – they were very drunk – but Elrohir, who happened to be arriving there, run after her.

************************

"Hey wait Eowyn! What is it?", Elrohir reached her at the gardens.

"Wow you're smelling twin! Uffff....", she said. Then she stared at him. "Lemme guess: Elrohir!", she fell to the ground, laughing.

"Right, Elrohir! And, if you allow me to say, you're also smelling!", he laughed and fell to the ground as well. 

They both stared each other and burst out laughing.

"But what is it, Eowyn sweetie?!", he asked. "Why you left runing like this?"

"I always wanted to be a girly girl!", she wept.

"I like you as you are!", he said smiling. She glared at him in total surprise.

**************************

"Faramir, Eomer, I cannot believe that you didn't go after Eowyn!", Aragorn slapped their necks. "Can't you see she's jealous?"

"Wow Ranger boy, it was the first nice thing you spoke since my family arrived!", Arwen hugged her husband and kissed his cheek. 

"Perhaps he's right Eomer!", said dumb Faramir.

"Indeed!", agreed idiot Eomer.

Then they both left runing.

*****************************

Arwen looked up to Beregond and made a secret sign. Then he nodded and _her_ music played.  

**You can dance / You can jive / Having the time of your life / See that girl / Watch that scene / Dig in the dancing queen**

"That's me!", Arwen went to the middle of the hall.

**Friday night and the lights are low**

Arwen was dancing like mad

**Looking out for a place to go**

"Hey I can dance that too!", Galadriel was shaking.

**Where they play the right music**

"I love Abba!", Elrond shouted.

**Getting in the swing**

"I can do the swing!", Frodo went to dance. "Wait for me Mr Frodo!", Sam muttered.

**You come to look for a king**

"That's me!", Aragorn hold his wife's hand and started acting like John Travolta – even though they'd never heard of him. 

**Anybody could be the guuuy...**

"No way!", the king hold his queen.

**Night is young and music is hiiiiiiiiigh**

"Go Beregond!", the couple shouted. 

With a bit of rock music everything is fine 

"It really is!", Merry was merry. 

**You're in the mood for a dance!**

"Yes I am!", Arwen was spinning all over the hall. 

**And when you get the chance...**

"What?", she shouted. 

**You are a dancing queen / Young and sweet / Only seventeen...**

"No way!", Elrond hugged his daughter and laughed. "No way you're only seventeen!"

**Dancing queen / Feel the beat / From the tambourine, oh yeah...**

"I feel it!", Aragorn hold his wife. 

**You can dance!**

"Oh Eru knows I can!", Legolas shook the hips.

**You can jive!**

"If the pointy ear can, I also can!", Gimli was jiving.

**Having the time of your life...**

"That sounds good! C'mon mommy dance with me!", Elladan and Celebrían were now having a good time.

**Uuuu see that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen...**

"Well that's me!", Arwen said laughing hugged to her husband.

**And when you get the chance...**

"Merry it souds great!", Pippin was now dancing too. Merry was merrily dancing.

**You are a dancing queen...**

"That's me too!", Galadriel kissed her husband.

**Feel the beat from the tambourine oh yeah...**

"I can feel it! I can feel it!", Celeborn hold Galadriel's hand. 

**You can dance you can jive having the time of your life...**

Now they were all dancing together. The tension had gone, everything was fine.

**Uuuuu see that girl watch that sce...**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!", a painful scream came from nowhere. 

Beregond immediately stopped the music.

"What was that for Eru's sake?", Celeborn was scared.

"What do your elven ears listen Legolas?", Aragorn gravely asked.

Legolas pranced up on the stairs and stared at space with a hand upon his eyes, as to protect himself from the inexistent morning sun. "The uruk-hai go south. They run as if their master's whips were behind them!"

"What...?", they all asked in unison not understanding anything.

"Nevermind! Oh and by the way the scream came from the gardens!", he pointed out.

They all run to the so-called gardens. When they arrived there they could see – guess what? – another catfight. Eowyn was fighting Eomer and Faramir was fighting Elrohir.

"What's going on here?", Aragorn asked but they didn't answer.

"What the Mordor is going on here?", Arwen asked but they just kept on fighting.

Galadriel, Celeborn, Frodo, Legolas... everybody asked what was going on, but they didn't answer, they just kept on fighting. Then Elrond – who was always the one able to end up the fights, bless him – went back to hall and came back, bringing an apple pie (do they have apples at Middle Earth? Who knows...)

"I'll ask it one last time", Elrond coughed. "Why are you people fighting?"

Unsurprisingly, they didn't answer and kept on fighting. Then mad Elrond just threw the pie on them. They stopped and glared at the others.

"See? Simple like that!", Elrond rubbed his hands while everybody glared amazed at him.

"You wanna know why we are fighting? I'll tell ya why we are fighting! Freaking Eowyn and freaking Elladan were kissing each other!", Faramir shouted wide-eyed and full of apple pie.

"What a shame! You see Arwen what your freaking brother have done?", Aragorn screamed.

"Oh wait! You won't say words about my son!", Celebrían slapped Aragorn's neck.

"Audacity!", Legolas screamed and jumped on Celebrían. 

"Take your hands off of my daughter, Elf!", Celeborn shouted.

"ONE FOR ALL!", they all screamed.

"AND ALL FOR ONE!", again they all shouted.

Then they run back to the hall.

"Mommy why is daddy barricading the hall?", a childish voice spoke as Arwen felt someone hold to her dress.

"Because your daddy is nutts, Eldarion!", she answered. "Anyway go back to sleep!"

"I can't! You are all making so many noises!", the child yawned.

"Oh your daddy will pay me!", Arwen said.

Aragorn indeed barricaded the hall. He dropped the tables. So the king and his friends were at one side and Arwen's family at the other.

"TO WAAAAAAAAR!", Arwen and Aragorn commanded their armies at the same time. Food started flying all along the hall.

"SEND THAT BEASTS BACK TO THE ABYSS!", again Arwen and Aragorn shouted to their people.

"Eru can't they see that the war – and the movie – is over?", Elrond rolled his eyes and jumped to his family's side. 

"What is happening here bro? I can't sleep!", Eldarion's sister – the elder girl – just arrived dragging a teddy bear. 

"Come here sis! I'll protect you! These people are all nutts! We've got a freaking family and freaking friends", Eldarion nodded sadly and hugged his sister. Then they found a hidden place behind the bar. 

Beregond looked down and saw doom. "I've got the perfect music here!", he dribbled a flying pig bone. "Shot missed!", he shouted down while looking for the proper CD. 

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A/N: Ok please don't be scared about Eowyn/Elrohir issue. It'll be properly explained next chapter. Please don't you be indignant, ok?! Lol!

Now to my kind reviwers – I love you all!

Golden Hobbit: I am so glad you're back! I read your update now and I find it amazing! Anyway I'll try and get it later! Keep writing anyway and please keep on reading mine! Oh and by the way, Portuguse is my first language, I'm Brazilian! If you allow me to ask, why did you think French was my first one? I mean, I love French and your question made me smile though!

Uineniel: It's so great to have you back! Wow, and what nice reviews! I'll answer them now! First, I knew Elladan and Elrohir didn't make it to Valinor until Aragorn passed. But, for the plot's sake, it had to be changed! Anything for a humor fic! Lol! Second, their hair color: it was a real lapse and I apologize! I already corrected it – and it was a bad lapse let's say, because Arwen and Elrond are also darke-haired! Duh for me! Anyway, thanks for the tip, and forgive my distraction! Third, it's good to see that you also know that Eomer married Imrahil's daughter! I didn't remember her name, and thanks for telling me! I am glad you're liking the "not knowing war and movie are over" gags, it makes me proud, you know?! Oh, and also that you liked "exploding Dol Amroth": I thought that would be funny, isn't it? And, last but not the least, thanks for saying that I have a good English – it really matters to me! Thanks again and please keep reading and reviewing! Ah and not to forget about Aragorn: he's a amazing character, that's because we all like to make his life a living hell. Abd he's the king, this claims for gags, don't you think? Lol! Thanks for reviewing!


	8. Party: part II

A/N: Hey everybody! Small change of plans! I had thought that the party would take two chapters, but it just grew bigger and bigger. So it'll be three. And I hope it isn't too boring. But I swear it's ending!

Now please enjoy and don't forget to REVIEW!

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"Pippin get this garlic bread!", Frodo shouted and threw it to the younger hobbit.

"Oh Frodo what is it for?", Pippin didn't guess the point.

"They're all elves at the other side! Throw it there!", Frodo shouted.

And so Pippin did. "Wow Treebread would be proud! It was a good shot!"

"Yes it was Pip! Yes it was!", Merry, not merry anymore, threw a silver candlestick to the other side.

"Aragorn some of them have seen too many springs – or something like that!", Legolas said.

"And others too few!", Gimli added.

"But I shall die as one of them!", Aragorn stared at the elf.

"Hey you're runing over things! I hadn't said that they were all gonna die!", Legolas seemed indignant. 

"Oh sorry Leggy! Let's start it all again!", Aragorn smiled.

"Ok!", Legolas coughed. "Aragorn some of them ha..."

"SHUT UP! We have a war going on here!", Eomer shouted. "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!", he screamed and jumped to the other side of the trench brandishing his sword, while Eowyn blew her horn so loud that it was almost breaking. 

"Wait for me Eomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!", Faramir shouted and jumped too. 

"Eowyn what is it with those two?!", Sam asked.

"Who knows Sam? Who knows?", she sadly shook her head. Then she kept on blowing her horn.

"Look at this! Wow!", Aragorn got something from the ground and his eyes shone.

"Oh my great Eru thank you!", Legolas kneelt and prayed his thanks.

"Oh my they're doomed now!", Gimli laughed.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!", Aragorn shouted looking wilder than Ghân-buri-Ghân himself. He got up and threw a silver tray to the other side. "YES!", he was about to do the Gondor victory dance.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!", Eomer and Faramir screamed in pain. They were coming back from the other side, all dirty and ripped, but it wasn't enough: they were hit by a flying silver tray as well!

"Oh my Eru! Legolaaaaaaas cover meeeeeeee!", Aragorn tossed Gimli and then jumped to get wounded Faramir and Eomer.

"No one tosses a dwarf!", Gimli angrily said.

"This is no time for pointless arguings! Let's take them from heeeeere!", Aragorn slapped Gimli's neck, who just agreed. So Gimli grabbed Faramir and Aragorn did the same with Eomer, while Legolas shot cutleries with his bow. 

****************************

At the other side of the trench, few minutes ago...

"Get dooooown! Something's flying over our heeeeeads!", Celeborn shouted and got down covering his own head. 

"What?", Galadriel didn't understand. Then the thing fell upon her. "What's this smell for Eru's sake?"

"Mommy! It is a... garlic bread!", Celebrían was disgusted. 

"TAKE IT OFF TAKE IT OFF TAKE IT OOOOOOFF!", Galadriel screamed and, even though still crouched, run – she looked somehow as a dancing Russian cossack, but as they had never heard a word about cossacks (they had never heard a word about Russia indeed), it's ok. 

"Calm down my love! I will save you!", Celeborn knightly said, then knightly covered his too sensitive elven nose and knightly took the garlic bread off of Galadriel's head and thew it to the bar – throwing it back to their enemies would surely be worse to the elves, as they would get no harm from a garlic bread at all, those stinking people. "Except for Legolas, but it'd be no good even though!", knighty Celeborn thought to self.

"My paladin!", the White Lady kissed her husband. 

"Why are you calling grandaddy by Pippin's daddy name, grandma?!", Arwen was confused.

"Nevermind!", Galadriel sadly looked at her grandaughter. 

"What is this noise Valar?", Elrohir covered his all too sensitive elven ears. 

"It sounds like a Rohan horn! Must be your _muse_ bro!", Elladan was really upset with his twin. 

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!", someone shouted and jumped on them. It was, of course, Eomer. Then Faramir jumped after his brother in law. They were brandishing their swords and looked as they had eaten too much pepper. 

"Eru the Almighty!", the elves shouted in unison staring frightened at the humans.

"I'll take care of it!", Arwen said and threw a pudding at them. "Everybody now chaaaaaaarge!", she shouted. The elves jumped on the humans like wild animals. 

"Retreeeeeat! Retreeeeeeeat! Goooo baaaaack to Minaaaaaas Tiriiiiith!", Faramir shouted at Eomer. Then they both run to the other side of the trench. When they were runing away, they were hit by a silver tray. They both had only time to scream of pain and then see nothing but silver glass. 

"I'll go catch theeeeeeem! They'll not run awaaaaaaaay!", Elrohir shouted and got up. Then he was hit by a spoon and fell to the ground.

**************************

"Help us up you rascals!", Gimli angrily shouted at the hobbits, while Legolas kept on shooting cutleries with his bow, covering the in-law's rescuers. 

"I knew that that time at the Interceptor would teach me something!", Legolas loudly thought.

"Interceptor?", Aragorn asked. The in-laws were safe at their folks' side of the trench now. 

"Yeah a Royal Navy ship! We happened to shoot cutleries as cannon balls!", Legolas said as if he was telling his pal what he'd had for dinner.

"What?", Aragorn looked clueless.

"Nevermind!", Legolas understandly tapped the king's shoulder. Then he pranced away into Eowyn's direction.

"Oh Valar they're dead!", Eowyn screamed. "And it is all my fault!", she knelt weeping as some sissy girl.

"Eowyn for the first time since I knew you you look like a girly girl!", Legolas cheering said.

"I do?", she proudly smiled.

"Yes you really do!", the Mirkwood elf smiled back. Then she stopped crying and kissed his cheek. 

Aragorn stared at them and sadly nodded. Then he went to his dead pals. 

"Sam do you know _athelas_?", the king had healing hands.

"I do! The king's leaf – or something like that, isn't it?", the gardener asked.

"Yeah go and get me some!", the king said.

When they were about to leave to look for the herbs, Pippin and Merry stopped them.

"Please don't you do that! Can't you remember what happened when you did it last time?", Pippin said.

"At the book or at the movie? Because it was quite different and...", Sam couldn't finish his sentence because he felt his neck burning.

"The _last_ time you idiot! So I mean the movie, you jerk!", Merry angrily slapped Sam's neck.

"Ooooh, Valar, Merry! You're right, we can't do it, otherwise Arwen will show up!", Aragorn got the point.

"Oh my mighty Eru please don't let me loose my sanity!", Frodo muttered to himself, too scared because he had listened to that _conversation_. 

"If you survive sane through this maddness, you'll never go crazy, Frodo Baggins!", a familiar voice talked to him, but only he could hear.

"Gandalf? Gandalf is that you?", Frodo asked.

"Oh Valar Frodo's gone insane!", Sam knelt weeping watching his master calling for Gandalf all over their side of the trench. "It is the end of all things!"

*****************************

At the other side of the trench, few minutes ago...

"Folks they're winning! We cannot let them win this battle!", Arwen tried to encourage her army. 

"They are over numbered!", Elladan got a point.

"We also were at Helm's Deep! We also were at Pelennor fields! And yet we won!", Elrond heroically said.

"Daddy, _they_ won at Helm's Deep! _They_ won at Pelennor fiels!", Elrohir also got a point.

"Oh!", was Elrond's only answer.

"But, my dears... we have a secret weapon!", Celeborn said with a grin.

"Secret weapon? What is it dad?", Celebrían anxiously rubbed her hands.

"Well few of you know that we have also fought at the War of the Ring", Celeborn stated. "Yes, dear children – and dear readers – we fought Sauron's army at Lothlórien – as the dwarves also did in their land", Celeborn was evilly smiling. "And we were also out numbered, but we won! And you know why?", he was misterious, and his people were going mad.

"Speak daddy or anxiety will kill us!", Celebrían couldn't bear it anymore.

Celeborn and Galadriel connived glared at each other. "Because, dear children, we had our secret weapon: the White Lady!", he said with a evil grin.

"Mom? You mean mom is the secret weapon?", Celebrían was disappointed.

"Indeed my dear!", Galadriel kissed her daughter's forehead. "Just watch!"

Then the White Lady concentrated. Her big blue elven eyes stared at nowhere. She became gray and looked really scaring. Everyone but Celeborn stepped back. 

Nothing happened – or at least they thought so. Because, at the other side of the trench, Frodo started runing as a mad hobbit – and imagine how a mad hobbit runs! – calling for Gandalf. They could hear distant noises, someone calling for the old Maia.

Arwen smiled. "Hey grandma I always knew hurting people through telepathy could be of a good use someday!", she kissed her grandma's cheek. 

They all cheered and did the elven victory dance.

*****************************************

At the other side...

"Strider please do something! Frodo's gone insane!", Sam was hopeless.

"Sam I'm busy now can't you see? I have to take care of Eomer and Faramir!", Aragorn said. "Cooooooomeeeee baaaaack tooo theee liiiight!", he shouted to the in-laws.

"Tsc!", Legolas sadly nodded watching Aragorn trying to cure their pals. "I'm pretty sure that this Gandalf thing is Galadriel's work!", he said. 

"The White Lady is cunning!", Eomer woke up and pointed out.

"Indeed! But I know how to deal with her!", it was Eowyn. She was good old fashioned brave Eowyn again.

"Tsc!", Legolas sadly nodded watching Eowyn getting her sword and her shield. "No girly girl anymore!", he muttered.

Then Eowyn reached Frodo, who was runing around their trench side shouting "Gandalf! Gandalf!". "Legolas gimme a hand!", she screamed at the elf. "Hold him!", she said. 

Legolas did so. He firmly clasped the hobbit. Then Eowyn stood in front of them brandishing her sword. The colorful lights of the hall were reflecting at her sword, and illuminating Frodo's eyes. "Leave Galadriel!", she shouted. "Leave this old hobbit!", she shouted with her shining sword.

"If I leave Frodo dies!", Frodo angrily said.

"You didn't kill me you won't kill him! GO!", she brandished her sword.

"What? What is it?", Frodo looked helpeless.

"Nothing! Nothing at all!", Legolas said. Then he put an arm around Eowyn's waist and kissed her cheek. "You know, my dear Lady, why you are so amazing? Because no girl would do what you just did, my dear Nazgul-slayer! No girly girl would be so amazing as you are!"

She smiled in amusement. Faramir, who just happened to wake up – yeah, he was not dead – walked to her and kissed her cheek. "Legolas is right, Eowyn! You are amazing!"

"Indeed!", Eomer kissed her cheek too. "Indeed!"

"Oh my! What a Kodack moment we've got here!", Gimli said even though they'd never heard a work about photograph. "But, my dears, WE HAVE A WAR GOING ON HERE!", the dwarf shouted. 

"Gimli's right! Folks, they're winning! We've got to do something!", Aragorn was trying to encourage his army.

"But they've got scaring lady – I mean, White Lady!", Pippin was frightened.

"And we've got Shieldmaiden!", Faramir smiled. "The Nazgul-slayer! My wife!"

"My sis!", Eomer said.

"My wife!"

"My sis!"

"My wife!"

"Ai Valar!", Eowyn, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo, Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn whispered rolling eyes. 

**************************************

Not really far from there, few minutes ago...

Galadriel fell to the ground as if she had been pushed. "Oh my she'll pay me!", she stared at nowhere squeezing her ring.

"What was it, Galadriel?", Elrond looked worried. 

"Evil Shieldmaiden is the only one who can deal with me!", she angrily said.

"Oh!", Arwen mumbled. "But we do have Elrohir!"

"People you are all insane! It was only a few kisses!", Elrohir stated.

"_It was only a few kisses! It was only a few kisses!", _Elladan mimicked his brother.

"Elladan I was just kissing her cheek! Oh Eru damned crazy people!", Elrohir shouted.

"What? You were kissing her _cheek?_", Celeborn asked in astonishment. "Freaking in-laws!"

"Elladan, Elrohir, you are the best archers of Middle Earth _and_ Valinor! Do something!", Celebrían ordered.

"We have no arrows!", the twins stated in unison.

"But we do have puddings!", Arwen said with a evil grin.

************************************

At the other side again...

"Watch oooooout!", Frodo screamed. "They're shooting!"

"What is it?", Aragorn asked and then a pudding smashed in his face. "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!", he angrily bit his tunic's sleeve.

"Disgusting!", Legolas pranced away from there.

But it was a fact: it was raining puddings. They could not escape.

"People, we will need to destroy their puddings!", Aragorn pointed out. 

"But how?", Eomer asked.

"Well I've already seen this movie: I'll go there with Sam and we will destroy their puddings!", Frodo said and, along with his faithful servant, crawled into the west – yes, because as we all know, Arwen's family always come from the west wing.

"There're seven elves between Frodo and the puddings!", Aragorn said. 

"We gotta do something!", Eomer said.

"We will attack their front! We will march to meet them!", Aragorn smoke his pipe.

"A diversion!", Legolas cunningly said.

"Wow and there goes Mr Obvious again!", Gimli said and everybody but the elf laughed. 

Legolas stared at the dwarf. "That's not your line!"

"Oh you're right Mr Obvious!", Gimli then coughed. "Certainty of death! Small chance of success! What are we waiting for?", he said. "Happy now, Leggy boy?"

"Now I am!", the elf prince smiled. 

So they all crawled into the west. Aragorn shouted some things about them having to pay the bad they did, or something like that. Then Galadriel and Arwen left their trench.

"Wow don't they look exactly like the Mouth of Sauron?", Eowyn said with a grin.

"Don't you disturb me!", Galadriel was mad.

"Aaaah White Lady are you afraid of me? Huh?", the Rohan girl menancingly said.

"Don't you call Grandma words, you rejected girl!", Arwen pointed out. "Aragorn didn't want ya, did he? _Did he?"_

"How dare ya? Audacity!", Eowyn shouted. 

Elladan, Elrohir, Elrond, Celebrían and Celeborn had also gone out. But when they saw those three dangerous women arguing, they understandly looked at Aragorn's gang. And with that they all – Arwen's freaking family and Aragorn's freaking friends – stepped back to their trenches, leaving the freaking women there about to kill each other.

"Look there! I finally found it! Go me!", Beregond thought to himself. Then he put on a CD. The three girls looked up at him listening to that rock anthem. 

***************************************

A little note now to my kind reviewers...

Rachel the Almighty: It's always good to have new people! Thanks for the review and please keep on reading, ok? Ah, and Dancing Queen has always been one of my fav songs!

Dreamality: As you could see, nothing really happened between Elrohir and Eowyn in fact, besides friendship... But it seems that Faramir and Eomer didn't take it so well, isn't it? Lol! Oh I also love Eldarion! Have you read any of Uineniel's stories about him? They're so cute! Anyway here's the "party", I hope you like it! Thanks for reviewing and being so patient with my story!


	9. Friends once again

A/N: Okay, another change of plans... This is how the story ends! I hope you like it, and I must thank to you all who read it to the end! Thanks again!

Now enjoy and don't forget to REVIEW!

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_Tum tum tah... tum tum tah... tum tum tah..._

Arwen, Eowyn and Galadriel are now in the middle Gondor's Palace Dinner Hall. They were about to kill each other, when Beregond, from the terrace, put a CD on. The music started, and the girls, instead of jumping in each other in wraith, just looked up to the Gondorian. 

_Tum tum tah... tum tum tah... tum tum tah..._

The three dangerous women understandly looked at each other. 

_Tum tum tah... tum tum tah... tum tum tah..._

From Aragorn's and Arwen's sides of the trench, people got up to watch the fight. They were stepping hard on the floor and clapping, following the music's rythm. 

_Tum tum tah.. tum tum tah.. tum tum tah..._

The people were shouting word's of encouragement to the girls. They felt like watching a Gladiator fight from the ancient Roman times, even though they had never actually had ancient Roman times...

_Tum tum tah... tum tum tah... tum tum tah..._

The three dangerous women undestandly looked at each other.

_"Buddy you are a boy making a big noise playing in the street gonna be a big man someday, you gotta blood on your face, you big disgrace, kicking your can all over the place, singing"_, Eowyn sang pointing at Faramir and Eomer, who blushed.

_"We will we will rock you! We will we will rock you!", _the three sang together. Beregond looked really confused, as he put that CD to be the soundtrack for a fight, not for a musical presentation or something like that.

"Buddy you are a young man hard man shouting on the street gonna take on the world someday you gotta blood on your face you big disgrace waving your banner all over the place",  Arwen sang poiting at Aragorn, who blushed.

"We will we will rock you! We will we will rock you!", the three of them sang together poiting at everyone.

"Buddy you are an old man poor man pleading with your eyes gonna make you some peace some day you gotta mud on your face you big disgrace somebody better put you back into your place",  Galadriel sang staring at Elrond and Celeborn, who blushed. 

"We will we will rock you! We will we will rock you!", they sang together. 

"Everybody singing we will we will rock you! We will we will rock you!", they were all now singing and clapping together. Beregond, astonished, fell to the ground from the terrace, and, along with him, came a box full of... margeritas (you thought I was going to say Pepsi, didn't you?).

Then, Eowyn, Arwen and Galadriel got each one a marguerita from the ground and drank it from one gulp.

*****************************

"Sam, look – there are their puddings!", Frodo whispered to his servant. 

"Yes Mr Frodo! Let's destroy them!", Sam was encouraging his master.

"No – the puddings are mine!", Frodo said with flames in his eyes.

"No Mr Frodo please don't do that!", Sam was begging.

"Don't worry Sam it's only puddings. It's not the One Ring!", Frodo got a point.

"Yes Mr Frodo but do you remember what happened – in the book and in the movie – when you claimed the ring as yours?", Sam was frighetened.

"Oh my Eru! Gollum!", Frodo got a point.

"Give it to usssss preciousssssss....!", Gollum jumped on Frodo.

"HELP! HELP!", Sam cried from behind his enemies' trench and run like a mad hobbit.

"What is it, Sam?", Elrond asked.

"Gollum, it's Gollum, Master Elrond! Frodo was about to destroy the puddings, and then he claimed the puddings as his! You remember what hapenned when he claimed the Ring, don't you? So Gollum simply showed up and is now fighting Mr Frodo!", Sam spoke quickly.

"Wow we gotta do something...!", Elrond said. "Or instead Frodo will be known as Frodo of the eight fingers!"

"If with my life or death I can protect him, I shall so – or something like that. He has my sword!", Aragorn shouted.

"And he has my bow!", was Legolas' turn.

"And my axe!", Gimli shouted. 

And, with that, they all went to their enemie's side of the trench and saved Frodo. What happened to Gollum there, no one really knows. Some say that he was sent to Mirkwood, from where he should never have gone out. Others say that the three heroes just killed him. But the most probable hypothesis is that, when Gimli, Aragorn and Legolas were fighting the creature, a dimension portal was opened and Gollum was banished into Middle Earth's heroes nightmares: a Mary Sue room. 

"Now people look at that! We've got some margueritas left!", Frodo shouted and jumped on the margueritas' box. 

And again, everybody drank together. 

"Now Arag dear tell me: aren't you afraid of us exploding your palace as well?", Eowyn asked laughing.

"No Gandalf is not here, so noooo fireworks!", the king asnwered. "By the way, why didn't he come?"

"Oh he told something about avoing us exploding another palace. We didn't really understand what he was talking about, but I think that somehow he found out that Aragorn was invinting his freaking friends to come also!", Elladan said.

"We are not freaking! You are!", Merry shouted at Elladan. "You freaking twins!"

"Hey wait a minute now, little one! Elladan may be a freaking twin, but Elrohir is not!", Eowyn hugged the twin with a marguerita glass in her hand.

"Now wait everybody, now I remembered! Eowyn you were kissing freaking twin!", Faramir was drunk again.

"Indeed!", Eomer agreed.

"Now wait a minute you two freaking in-laws! Elrohir said he was kissing her cheek!", Celeborn was angry now.

"That's true! But no one but us may kiss Eowyn's cheek!", Eomer tapped his brother-in-law's shoulder.

"Wow wow wow guys! I also may kiss Eowyn's cheek, she's my friend. My best girl friend, I must say: we always do practice together!", Legolas pointed out.

"Hey I am also Eowyn's friend!", it was Aragorn.

"Legolas and Elrohir I allow to kiss Eowyn's cheek – she'd never have a crush on you two elves. But you I don't, Ranger boy!", Faramir was jealous.

"What do you mean Faramir she'd never have a crush on us? We're elves, we're gorgeous!", Elrohir tapped Legolas' shoulder.

"Do you wanna fight? So let's fight!", Faramir shouted.

"We're ready!", Elrohir jumped on the humans.

And guess what? Another catfight was now going on. And, now, it was Arwen and Galadriel who were biting their inferior lips, jealous.

Beregond was going to put another CD on. But... they were all stopped by a scream.

"NOW STOP THAT YOU FREAKING PEOPLE!", a childish voice spoke from the bar. "Look at you guys! You are the best people that ever stepped on Middle Earth. I've always heard stories about how you fought Sauron and saved the world. You all! I mean, Frodo and Sam went to Mordor and destroyed the ring there at Mt Doom. Daddy, Legolas and Gimli fought too many wars together – and uncles Elladan and Elrohir were there at Pelennor fields! Grandaddy Elrond was the wise counselor and councilor who created the Fellowship. Eomer leaded the rohirrim in battle and helped to save Minas Tirith – and the world. Faramir was the wisest warriors of all, and Eowyn, oh my, she, along with Merry, killed the Witch King! Pippin was brave enough to be Guard of the Citatel. Grandmother Galadriel and grandfather Celeborn helped the Fellowship in Lórien and also fought the evil. I mean, so people, why are you fighting? Why do you hate each other that much? I was hidden behind the bar with my sis 'cause we couldn't sleep, you were screaming so much with each other. Do you really think I am proud of you for that?", Eldarion was really angry.

Now everybody was looking down, avoiding eye contact. They were so ashamed...

"Son, you spoke with uncommon wisdom for your age!", Arwen hugged her child.

"Mommy is right, Eldarion! We will not fight anymore! We're friends after all, aren't we?", Aragorn, holding his daughter, asked everybody.

They all glared at each other. What could they possibly answer?

"YES!", Elrohir shouted and hug Eowyn. "We're friends!"

"Indeed!", Eowyn agreed. "See Faramir Elrohir's a great guy! I'm sure they all are great guys!", Eowyn stated.

"YES!", Elrond shouted. "I always told you that this hate and fear were all bullshit!"

Legolas then pranced away and looked to the window.

"Look – a red sun is rising! Blood has been spilled this night!", the Mirkwood elf intencionally said and everybody, including him, burst out laughing. "But we shall never spill our bloods again!", he said with a smile.

And it was like this that everybody became friends once again. They all cheered and laughed and drank and talked together. And, after three days, Arwen's freaking family was boarding into the west once again.

"Please people, please come back soon!", Aragorn hugged to Celeborn said.

"We will!", Elrond, Galadriel and Celeborn stepped on the grey ship.

"I had a better idea! Why don't you people go and visit us in Valinor? I'm sure you'll love it!", Celebrían said crying, because she'd just said goodbye to her daughter and her grandchildren.

"We will! We will!", Eowyn was crying hold to Elrohir, who was crying too. 

"I don't like the bitterness of separation, my dear! But if you allow me to say, at least it's making you look as a gilry girl!", Elrohir said. 

"You moron!", Eowyn friendly tapped the elf's shoulder, and he got up the boat as well.

"Lay down, your sweet and weary head... night's falling, you have come to jorney's end!"

"Hey Beregong turn off this CD!", they all shouted in unison seeing Beregond hidden behind a tree along with a CD player.

And it was like that that our elf friends went into the west one more time...

"Well... I guess we will miss them! And I will surely miss the action!", Aragorn sighed with his baby girl in his arms, hugged to Arwen.

"Yes we will!", Frodo agreed.

Three years later...

"Look babe, a message to us!", Eowyn said.

Faramir opened the message. And, while his eyes went down the letter, he became pale, then green, and then turned into a color we can call dead icy. "You won't believe this my love! Please go and tell Eomer and Lothíriel – who thought he'd marry Imrahil's daughter? – that I'm picking them up tomorrow at 7 a. m."

She read the message too and happily went to call her brother through that palantír thing they had been given.

Faramir, also happily, dropped the message and left to pack. 

"Hey dudes whassup? So our friends there in Valinor invited us to a huuuuuge party. Please you all come here 'cause we're going to the Grey Havens. Don't be late, I want you all here the day after tomorrow. Hugs from Arag the King."

"Uhuh, let's party!", Eowyn, Faramir, Eomer, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo, Legolas and Gimli shouted at the same moment, even though they're so far away from each other... But this is another tale, isn't it?

THE END

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I like to leave a little message now to my kind reviewers...

IrethAcalime3791: I really hope you like it to the end! Thanks for reviewing, and your fic rocks!

Rachel the Almighty: Thanks for reviewing, I hope you liked the end!

Dreamality: Thanks for being my most loyal reviewer! I really hope you like the end of the story! Thanks again for being so patient!

Uineniel: Thanks for being so patient with my story and giving me so many good tips! I really hope you enjoy the end!

Golden Hobbit: Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it!

C_marabini: Thanks cousin! You were an inspiration to me! Beijos beijos!


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